thatblackgirlblogging

Condi Rice, Watch Out Your Sisterhood is Showing...

We've all had our doubts about Condi Rice over the years. She may look like a black woman but is she really one of us? A lot of her behavior hasn't done much to sway us either way, it seemed that she was actually trying to transcend the discussion by appearing race neutral. We understood that she was in a powerful position in a Republican administration but was she a sister underneath it all? None of us expected an animated neck rolling, finger snapping, Secretary of State but some sign of black life would have been greatly appreciated.

We got that and more when Condi came out in support of Obama's speech on race. She not only thought the speech was important, she put things into context for those thick-skulled people who couldn't understand the mixed feelings we have about being black in America. I got to say that I have a new respect for her because she also got personal with it, reminding people of her own families history. As Bush winds down his last months in office, I guess it is safe for this woman to take her mask off. She fooled a lot of folks with her race neutral stance, but now the truth is out. Condelezza Rice is a sister and she may let it all hang out before it is all said and done. Let's stay tuned to see who the real woman is.

Condi Discusses Obama's Speech

Only the Strong Survive

I am on a birthday roll y'all. Next Friday, Dr. Maya Angelou will turn 80. Yes, she will have been on this earth for eight decades. To celebrate her life, a couple of friends and a family member came together to create, Maya Angelou, A Glorious Celebration (Doubleday, $30). This new book is part tribute, part scrapbook so it sounds like a real keeper. We all need to go out and get it. Why? Because although most of us have read her books, future generations, with their limited attention spans, might confuse her with a greeting card writer. I shudder at the thought. Besides, none of us will live forever. We have to make sure that Dr. Angelou's work will continue to speak for her.

Besides being a prolific writer, poet, actress and speaker. She is an all-around inspiration. In her time on this earth, she has known real struggle, something more than the mere inconveniences that we often let paralyze us. And she has successfully turned trials into triumphs. Now we know that her life wasn't a fairytale where things happened overnight, she endured and perservered. That is something we need to do more of in our own lives. I suspect we do it anyone but perhaps we might think about grumbling a little less about things that don't really matter.

So the next time that life slaps the wind out of you (and we all know that it can happen at any moment), think of her abiding strength and keep rising. USA Today has a great article about her in today's paper, click on the link below. (Oh, and let me know if these things don't work, I will endeavor to fix these technical glitches.)

USA Today's Article on Dr. Maya Angelou

">Maya Angelou recites And Still I Rise

Lessons Learned from the Ultimate Diva

My last few posts have been so serious that I thought I should lighten it up a bit. So in honor of my birthday, I have decided to take a look at what I have learned from someone else who is also born on the same date, Diana Ross.

Miss Ross, as she likes to be called, is a true diva which I have had a love/hate relationship with as a fan. I couldn't decide if she was selfish or directed, calculating or delusional. All sides showed themselves as I watched her launch a solo career and I read Mary Wilson's tell-all tale. But what is clear is that she has made her mark in history whether we like her or not. Here's what I've learned from watching her over the years:

1. If you truly believe you're fabulous, everyone else will too. Diana is a black woman who believes she can do anything. More of us would benefit from taking on this particular trait too. Okay but remember that some hard work has to go along with all of your fabulosity.

2. Be careful how you treat people, your actions may come back to bite you in the butt. Call Her Miss Ross, enough said?

3.Divas gets the blues. Diana bizarre behavior flying back from London and her alleged DUI's were a wake up call some years back that all will not always be well with even the most fabulous of us.

4. You can't rewrite history. Miss Ross did a 2 hour interview on Inside the Actor's Studio last year. When asked how Florence and Mary felt about her going solo she said something like, "Florence wanted to do other things like be a mother..." Say what? Berry Gordy must have fed her that line back in the day and maybe she truly believes it. But come on, the truth is irrefutable even though she may want to gloss over it.

5.Own up to your bad choices. Diana as Dorothy was a truly tragic career decision. I am sure that was Berry's idea too.

6. Know when it is time to leave. Berry Gordy may have made her career but she knew when to get out from under his thumb (okay, after a kid and the launch of the solo career).

7. Don't live like your best days are in the past. Diana is still trying to make music and be relevant today—big 'ol weave and all. Did any of you buy "I Love You?' I didn't think so.

8. Even a diva needs love. Diana may be a diva in public but she is also a devoted mother who seems to have a regular relationship with her children. It seems that she doesn't believe her own hype when she's around those she loves. At least I hope not.

Anyone, here's to the diva in you. Here are a couple of excerpts from her interview with James Lipton. Enjoy!

">Diana Ross Talking about Motown

">Diana Ross on Inside the Actor's Studio

The Next to Last Taboo

It looks like Isiah Thomas will lose his job as coach and team president of the New York Knicks any day now. Should we care? Absolutely. Not because a brother will be out of such a high profile job, we should care because this brother is finally being forced to suffer the consequences for the disrespect and dishonor he tried to inflict upon a sister. Yes, Anucha Browne Sanders is one of us and she deserved so much more than the $11.5 million settlement she got from the The Knicks and Madison Square Garden, we owe her an apology.

You see when it comes to things we just don't want to talk about, sexual harrasment is right up there with sexual molestation. We'd rather not acknowledge the sin if it means airing our dirty laundry. So we stay silent and that quiet knowledge causes more and more lives to be destroyed. And so we let Anucha fight her battle alone. Many of us questioned her veracity and thought of her as a traitor because she dared to accuse a brother of such malicious charges. (We've got to stick together right?)

We should have learned from the not-to-distant past. During the Clarence Thomas confirmation, it was mostly white feminists who came out in support of Anita Hill. Again we had little to say because although we might not agree with his politic,s we still wanted another brother on The Supreme Court. Oh, and hasn't he helped us soooo much?

I think we have an issue with sexual harrasment because historically, black women have been objectified and violated for as long as we have been on these shores. Some would rationalize that if we are indeed living better lives these day we can't acknowledge such unseemly things, let alone discuss them.

Last month, I heard Anucha speak at a conference and her faith and quiet dignity are what shone through. Her upbringing had given her confidence to fight the battle. She didn't do it for the money, or fame, she went through with the lawsuit because she knew that the only thing that we can take with us is our integrity. It's time to recognize the ugly truth about ourselves and not let another sister stand alone in the battle.

Note: I would love to link you to the article Essence did with Anucha in the April issue but it isn't on the site yet. So go out and pick up a copy and read her story.

Keeping Up With The Jacksons

Photos of the Jackson 5, swiped from the pages of Right On, were plastered all over my bedroom growing up. For thousands of African American girls they were the stuff of fantasies and I was no different. My sisters and I were so passionate about the group that when our house got robbed, the only thing we cared about was whether the thieves had gotten away with our tickets to the Jackson 5 concert. Thankfully, they didn't.

Many of us realized that Michael was 'special' after a couple of nose jobs and solo projects. Pretty soon he no longer resembled the boy we fantasized about. Sure, we admired his music, but the boy/man got stranger and stranger. But the rest of the Jackson 5 seemed, at least, to continue to resemble their former selves as they grew older. They didn't shine as brightly without Michael, but we rooted for them all the same. As they faded into obscurity, we held out hope that they were better adjusted and were at the very least leading normal lives.

Today, we get the news that all of the brothers are suffering from a case of arrested development. The New York Post reports they're all broke. For goodness sake, Marlon is stocking shelves at the supermarket. Jackie, Jermaine and Randy live at home with their parents and don't work. Tito, the one most girls could take or leave, is the only brother who makes a bit of money playing music, $500-$1,500 a pop. A group that was the cornerstone of a musical dynasty is having less than story book ending.

Why? They were ill-prepared for real life. Joe Jackson drilled performing into them day and night. None of them went to college because they were too busy working. Another reason is that they had no control over their money—€”I wonder if they knew how much they had at any given time. If you don't have to deal with money you may have an unrealistic relationship with it. And apparently, they continued to live the same lifestyle after they were out of the limelight until all the money was gone. Seriously, why do we keep hearing about African American actors, singers and entertainers going broke, living on welfare or filing for bankruptcy?

But the curious thing about the Jackson family as a whole is that the sisters don't seem to be suffering the same fate. Rebbie got away from her crazy dad early and with the exception of "Centerpede!" steered clear of the show business. She got married to a seemingly normal guy and he is successful in his own right. Even La Toya, the Jackson who couldn't escape the scars of her jacked-up upbringing and worried us every time we saw her, is working. Yes, folks outside of the United States actually pay to see her perform. (Extra credit if you can name one of her songs). Even after all her plastic surgery she must realize deep down that she is a black woman and we will move heaven and earth to keep a roof over our head and food on the table. Sisters have written the book on creative financing in tight times and La Toya has read the book.

And then there's Janet (as well-adjusted as a Jackson can be) who is carrying the future of the family musical dynasty on her shoulders. (Yes, Michael is a legend but a re-release/remix of Thriller doesn't mean he's back on track.) Her anthem 'Control' may have been prophetic after all. She didn't want her father controlling her career. If Joe was in charge Janet may have suffered the financial fate of her brothers. She took control and handles her own purse strings. But if things ever got tough for Janet, she could always count on those residual checks from Good Times and Fame (if it ever comes back). Thankfully, Janet is still making music—although her CD's not sell like they used to—and hedging her bets by keeping her acting game tight. Because she is the most gainfully employed family member, Janet has probably helped her brothers out more times than we can imagine. All of us have that relative that just can't seem to get it together, we just didn't expect that Janet would too.

JACKO CLAN IN A DEEP FUNK

">Janet Jackson in Control

Words Can Live Forever

I am always amazed when I stumble upon something I wrote years ago doing a random internet search. Today, I found something new: a self-esteem guide I wrote more than 10 years ago for Essence. My first thought was, 'wow, that's old.' But upon further review, I realized the reason that it was posted on someone else's site last year is that self-esteem a timeless subject that is worth repeating. Our self-worth matters—especially because as black women we never want to admit that there are times when we beat ourselves up and believe the worst about ourselves. This guide will help you find little ways to lift yourself up. Keep it handy when you need a boost after a bad day.

But I was reminded today about the power of words. When we speak and/or write something, we never know what kind of impact those words might have. Sometimes what we say is positive, other times they can be negative, self-deprecating, self-defeating. If you knew that your words were going to live forever would you speak differently? What words would you want to leave for others to hear to uplift their lives and strengthen their souls? What you say has power, use it wisely.

The Self Esteem I wrote for Essence back in the day.

The Chitlin Circuit on Broadway for $100 a ticket

Some folks are trying to change the face of Broadway, literally. With the success of the Debbie Allen directed Cat on a Hot Tin Roof featuring a cast full of our people (and A Raisin in the Sun production featuring Sean Diddy Combs) producers are trying to find ways to keep us coming back to the Great White Way. Their solution? Let's add some color. Next up a rainbow coalition cast gives us A Streetcar Named Desire. Yes, really. I don't know about you but there'd be nothing better than seeing Forest Whitaker as Stanley Kowalski screaming STELL-A. Can't you just picture it with Jessica Alba and Julia Roberts playing Blanche and Stella respectively?

I am joking but Stephen C. Byrd, Cat's producer is not. Byrd wants to bring JeCaryous Johnson work to Broadway, maybe David E. Talbert and folks are definitely talking about the guarantee draw, Tyler Perry himself. Why Broadway? Producers only see the universal color, green. That's why orchestra and mezzanine seats often top $100 each. On my second visit to The Color Purple, angry theatre-goings stormed the box office on a Saturday night because Fantasia was a no-show. Apparently she did that often. I stayed to support the understudy because I wasn't there for an American Idol winner.

So we'll go to the theater but we want to see people we know. Our folks come out in droves to see people like Billy Dee Williams, Morris Chestnut, Richard Roundtree, Robin Givens, Vivica Fox and others essentially playing themselves. I'm not mad at the actors/singers because everybody needs to eat and keep a roof over their heads. Denzel, Will, and Halle are exceptions, not the rule. But those of us who can see the difference between August Wilson and David E. Talbert are in danger of being overruled by the majority because success is measured by a return on an investment instead of a riveting performance.

I have much more tolerance for a formulaic production if it is a local/regional theater. But I have to pay over $100 for something I am expecting some quality. So I have to run out fast and get tickets for Laurence Fishburne's turn as Thurgood Marshall because pretty soon our only Broadway option may be Madea and her madness.
A Black 'Cat" Catching An Elusive Audience

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Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

A couple of days ago I stumbled upon a casting for a new reality show that went up a few months ago. The show is called, The Black Woman's Guide to Marrying Well and the executive producer was looking for sisters betwen the ages of 20 and 65 who are educated, available and looking for the right mate. My first thought was, this has got to be a joke. But once I think about what is one the air already and the rumor that Karrine Steffans is getting a dating show of her own then I accepted that this casting might be fact. They were probably bombarded with scores of eager applicants ready to risk it all for their chance at stardom or love. Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself at http://blackwomansguide.blogspot.com/2007/12/new-reality-tv-show-black-womans-guide.html.
I don't know about you but the thought of a friend, sister, aunt or someone's grandmother starring in a dating show where the catfights will probably involve us and some successful brothers makes me want to scream.

Wanted: Successful Black Women in Series Television

Girlfriends became collateral damage when the writer's strike came to an end. The CW announced that it would only concentrate its resources on shows slated to return for another season. We secretly knew Girlfriends had already run out of steam a couple of years ago. But it still could have gone out on a high note at the end of last season with Joan's long-awaited marriage proposal. Creator Mara Brock Akil and most of the cast chose to soldier on anyway perhaps because of the absence of successful or middle-class black women in series television. I am talking about sisters who play roles beyond the occasional doctor, cop, maid or the ever-popular goldigger.

I wonder if we held onto Girlfriends so tightly towards the end because we still loved the characters or because it was all we had. Sure we can see a plethora of sisters looking for their shot at stardom in just about every reality show on the air. But as we see more and more of them behaving badly (also known as the Flava Effect), we yearn for some better choices.

TV One has tried to help out by getting syndication rights to some things we haven't seen in a long time but I can't exactly say that Thelma on Amen screams out successful black woman when all she did for about 75% of the series run was chase after a man who cringed when he saw her. That goes double for Mo Nique's character on The Parkers. Nick at Nite and TV Land have brought back The Cosby Show, A Different World, Good Times and The Jeffersons but I have got to ask the question: why has anyone thought about Julia?

This groundbreaking series, which debuted 40 years ago actually had a leading character, played by Diahann Carroll who was professional and exuded dignity, grace and class. It is sad to say that modern interpretations of Julia have been few and far between on the small screen.

Back in the day those critical of the show thought that Ms. Carroll wasn't black enough in part because she wasn't sassy, loud, angry or helpless without a man. It makes me wonder whether me longing for some sisters of substance would be enough. If it were a late night option, would anyone besides me even watch? Or have we been so numbed by the Flava Effect to find a single, working mother remotely entertaining? I hope I get the chance to find out. While I am waiting, I am putting out this classified ad to the powers-that-be in Hollywood and the black women who have made it up the ladder so far they can run their own shows (Mara, Shondra, Yvette, I am talking to you)—give us more of what we want and need. Let me make it plain, how about images that truly reflect the length and breadth of our experiences. We have enough of the bad, it is time for the good.
Diahann Carroll Talks About Julia

Yet Another Reason Not to Be an Angry Black Woman

Some researchers at Duke University have recently found that our hostile pesonality traits have a negative impact on our blood pressure and ultimately, our hearts. Black women have a greater propensity for high blood pressure than everyone else (including black men). Is it because we're angry? Well, these researchers are saying that when we are cynical and/or suspicious it leads to greater blood pressure fluctuations—which can result in the development of heart disease.

So what are you supposed to do when someone plucks your last nerve? Well, definitely don't follow the lead of either rapper Remy Ma or Toccara who have both taken things to the extreme. Remy Ma is currently on trial for shooting an acquaintance, Makeda Barnes-Joseph, in the abdomen last summer because she may have stolen $2,000 from her bag. Makeda testified that Remy was angry AND carrying a black and silver gun. That dangerous combination may cost the rapper 25 years of her life if she's convicted. Then there's Toccara's recent tirade on Celebrity Fit Club. We've all had that moment when we snap but my girl has reached the point of no return on camera (and it hasn't been edited out). Come on girl, is it that serious?
Somehow I doubt it.

Each of us has to come up with our own litmus test of what's losing our minds over because it could cost us in the long term. In the end, we've got to learn to let things go for the sakes of our bodies and souls.

Toccara Snaps on Celebrity Fit Club